Mini-Dave

Dave and Jack are not the only two cats in the neighborhood. They rarely come into contact with other cats, but there are rare exceptions. One cat that hangs around sometimes is named Mini-Dave. Mini-Dave looks quite similar to The Dafe, except s/he is a miniature version. Mini-Dave is red like Dave, and is also persistent like Dave. Mini-Dave seems like a nice cat. Dave would probably like getting involved in some shenanigans outside with Mini-Dave, but it is best for Dave to stay indoors. 

                                         

RocketDave, Volume VI

Let's take a closer look at the anatomy of a RocketDave. Here is the view from above. The paws come together in front to provide the greatest aerodynamicity possible. Dave is aligned perfectly straight. The ears do create some drag, but that's unavoidable for a cat-rocket. On the whole, Dave does a great job preparing for liftoff, considering the tools he has to work with.

Most importantly, being a RocketDave allows Dave to do more than just get ready for liftoff. It is also a very comfortable way to nap. Win-win.

It's lonely out in space, on such a tiii iii iiimeless flight!

                              

CSI: Dave, Volume IX

Dave's investigations know no bounds. He has been known to tip over the trash can to sift through the contents in search of something good to eat. It's not that he doesn't already have enough food provided for him, it's just that he can never be 100% certain that there will be more food tomorrow. There is no amount of assurances that would suffice. That's what happens to you when you grow up on the mean streets of Iowa. You have to fend for yourself, and if that means tipping over a trash can, so be it. You wouldn't judge if you knew what Dave has been through.

He has knocked over the trash can so many times that it now has to be weighted down with a brick to make the tipping-over harder to do. Dave still tips it over if he really wants to, but not as much as he used to.

Jabba the Dave

Among the definitive Dave poses is Jabba the Dave, not to be confused with Burt Reynolds Dave. Few cats have the necessary physique and dexterity to adopt this pose successfully, but Dave is one of those great cats. Most other cats do not even attempt to adopt this pose, which is smart of them because they would just make fools of themselves.

                     

The Weigh-In: the results may shock you

Below are the results of the recent weigh-in of Dave and Jack.

• Dave weighed in at 17.2 pounds.

• Jack weighed in at 12.1 pounds.

Those of you who thought Dave would weigh less than 7 pounds more than Jack were correct. However, you are also probably liars, because these results are truly shocking. Jack seems to be a very light cat, or at least an average-sized cat, while The Dafe is one of the largest cats ever to grow up on the mean streets of Iowa. Look at these two cats.

To think that only 5.1 pounds separates these two cats is truly mind-boggling. Dave is still a big guy, just not quite as big as previously thought. 

The Weigh-In

Dave is a big guy. No one would dispute this. When he was rescued from the mean streets of Iowa and domesticated, he put on some weight. Recently, Dave and Jack were both weighed in under International Boxing Federation standards. The betting line for their weights is Dave -7 pounds, meaning that Dave was expected to weigh 7 pounds more than Jack. Take a look at this picture of these dudes, and make your guess. If you think Dave weighs over 7 pounds more than Jack (eg. 19 lbs vs. 10 lbs), pick Dave. If you think Dave weighs under 7 pounds more than Jack (eg. 16 lbs vs. 11 lbs), pick Jack. Get your bets in now, as the results of the weigh-in will be revealed tomorrow.

                        

The Plateau, Volume IV

In a surprise guest appearance, today's iteration of The Plateau was performed by Jack. While Dave was up to his usual nonsense, Jack thought he would try for himself what he had seen Dave do many times. As you can see, Jack was quite successful in his pursuit of a comfortable nap. This is where Dave's greatness becomes larger than himself. Dave doesn't just create so many napping techniques for his own use, although that is his main priority. Dave is also a pioneer and a missionary, hoping to spread joy to other cats through great napping techniques. He knows how good life can be with a few (or more than a few) high quality naps sprinkled in, and he wants to do his part to spread the good word about naps.

Good job Jack. 

Hovercraft Dave

Dave gets plentiful recognition for his frequent impressions of natural land formations, like The Crevasse and The Plateau, but astute Dave observers know he also uses other inanimate objects for inspiration. Of course, RocketDave is the most famous example of this. Dave really loves pretending to be a rocket, because it makes him feel powerful and free, but he also enjoys other pretend modes of transportation. For example, Dave would love to be a hovercraft. He thinks he would make a great one, and it would be a fun way to get around. 

Good days and bad days

Dave is a temperamental cat, and he has good days and bad days. He is reasonably content with his station in life these days, but there are drawbacks. He enjoys many great napping opportunities, but what his current abode offers in terms of napping opportunities and plentiful cat food, it can never offer in terms of excitement and variety. So while Dave is happy enough, some days he feels all cooped up like he is living in an old folks' home. He just misses the excitement he used to have on the mean streets of Iowa. They were hard times, but they were good times. 

Dave in an unhappy mood

CSI: Dave, Volume VIII

Dave really loves food. Any time, any place, any kind of food. That's why so many of his investigations revolve around locating more food. Fortunately for Dave, there are many occasions when food is eaten in his home. Unfortunately for Dave, the majority of those occurrences don't allow Dave to partake in the eating. This is quite upsetting for Dave at times, but that doesn't mean he has stopped his efforts to eat more food. Take the example below, where Dave is investigating the aftermath of one of the meals that Dave was unable to enjoy. He is smartly trying to claim any leftovers that had not yet been eaten. 

His hopes were dashed, but Dave will persevere. There can be no doubt about that. 

The Conch, Volume VI

The Dafe can look pretty cuddly sometimes, but he never looks cuddlier than when he employs The Conch in a soft spot such as the one pictured below. The blankets mold around Dave like waves curve around rocks on the seashore. Dave's coat also pairs well with the blankets he is laying on here, making him appear very stylish while he naps.

Have you ever seen a more comfortable cat? I doubt it. Here is another angle. Just look at that Dave.

Dafe!

Jack-In-The-Box

Dave is indubitably the most prolific napper in the residence, but even so, he doesn't have a monopoly on creative napping. Due to his great girth, Dave is unable to accomplish some things that more slender cats are able to accomplish. For example, the Jack-In-The-Box position is one that Jack employs frequently. The cat tree in Dave and Jack's living room includes a box. It is a nice, dark, and cool space for a nap, and the box is the perfect size for Jack. In fact, it is the perfect size for almost all cats. Dave just happens to be in the 99th percentile of cat size, so he does not fit in the box. Dave would surely enjoy sleeping in this box, but he can't have everything he wants. 

Plus, it is good for Jack that he has at least one place where he can retreat from the nonsense that Dave often creates.

Just poking his head out. 

The Conch, Volume V

Look at this Dave. He just looks so comfortable. That's the strength of The Conch strategy. What other strategies might provide in terms of warmth, or ability to overlook his surroundings, or allowing Dave to quickly put his detective hat on, The Conch offers in comfort. Sometimes, that is a bargain Dave is willing to make. 

Dave and Organic Chemistry

There is a concept in organic chemistry called conformational isomerism. The idea is that two different molecules can be made up of the exact same atoms, chemically bonded in the same ways, yet take slightly different forms. These different forms are called conformations. Conformations still have the same molecular formula, and maintain the integrity of their chemical bonds, but they act differently. For example, a certain molecule might be part of a chemical reaction, but it may have to be in a certain conformation in order to be part of the reaction. Any time it is in another conformation, it won't react. 

Now, what does this have to do with The Dafe? You came here to read about The Dafe, did you not? Well, this is very relevant to Dave. When Dave adopts different napping positions, he is in effect adopting different conformations. When he adopts a certain napping position, he is the same Dave, made up of the same matter, and connected together in the same way that he always has been, but he reacts with the world around him differently depending on what conformation he has adopted.

For example, he might be splayed out on the bed, without a care in the world. This would not be a great time to attempt to pet Dave. If you petted his belly while in this position, you would likely find yourself scratched in short order.

Alternatively, he might be a RocketDave, at his most aerodynamic, ready for liftoff. In this case, you could probably pet Dave, but he still wouldn't be happy about it. He is focused on being a RocketDave here, so you shouldn't bother him.

RocketDave! I miss the earth so much! I miss my wife!

If you want to know when a good time to pet Dave would be, this would be one. He is performing The Crevasse here, where comfort and warmth are his top priorities. You would certainly be welcome to aid him in these pursuits by providing Dave with a headrub. Dave is all about the headrubs.

Despite the fact that Dave adopts so many different conformations at different times, at the end of the day, when it is time to be counted, Dave is the same Dave no matter what his current conformation is.

RocketDave, Volume V

Dave doesn't always make himself into a perfectly symmetrical RocketDave. Sometimes it is more comfortable to lean to one side, and Dave does not hesitate to adapt. He pays no mind to fools who think nappers should adhere to rigid methods. Dave does not suffer fools gladly. He is his own cat, and the whole reason Dave developed so many napping methods in the first place was because not every method is good for every situation. 

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time!

Dave the rascal, Volume II

Dave can be a rascal sometimes. In the photograph below, you can see Dave messing the rug all up in the bedroom, while Jack sits nearby and judges. Who knows what Dave was going for here. He could have been wearing his detective hat and investigating something. Maybe he thought he saw something under the rug. Maybe he was looking all over for something pertinent to an investigation. But in reality, it is a fool's errand to subscribe any real motive for Dave in these situations. He is just a huge goofball sometimes. 

It's understandable though. Dave spent his youth growing up on his own on the mean streets of Iowa. With that came hardship, but also FREEDOM. Dave has better access to food and soft napping spots now, but he doesn't have as many things to do. That can lead to situations like you see below.

CSI: Dave, Volume VII

Constant vigilance! That is Dave's motto. Even when he is taking a nap, he can put on his detective hat in no time. If someone thinks they can sneak something past Dave just because he appears to be taking a nap, that person is sorely mistaken. No matter how much Dave loves to take a nap, he does not often rest easily. He has just seen too much, especially while growing up on the mean streets of Iowa. Some cats never see anything more interesting than a particularly loud dishwasher, or a leaking toilet, but Dave is not one of those cats. While those cats might sleep soundly, with no worries at all, Dave is forever alert.

RocketDave, Volume IV (The closeup)

This is what the head/nozzle area of a RocketDave looks like closeup. Let's evaluate what is actually going on here. Dave has stretched his front legs out straight in front of himself, and placed his nose between his legs. This makes RocketDave very aerodynamic, and he looks ready for liftoff. His legs are also angled inwards to a degree, providing an extra bit of aerodynamicity. It's unclear where Dave thinks he is going to launch himself, but at least he is well prepared to do so if the opportunity ever arises. 

RocketDave! Zero hour, 9 AM! And I'm gonna be hiiiii iiii iighhhh as a kite by then!

Courage

A significant contributor to Dave's greatness in napping is certainly his courageousness. No cat has ever embarked on a career of napping with the same courage and bravery as Dave has. Indeed, few individuals of any species have ever displayed as much courage as Dave has displayed in his relentless pursuit of greater napping strategies. Maybe Jackie Robinson and Rosa Parks did. Maybe Tom Hanks did in Saving Private Ryan. Maybe Dennis Rodman did when he drunkenly waved his unlit cigar at a CNN reporter before playing a basketball game in front of a dictator who had only recently murdered his uncle with wild dogs. Certainly Mufasa belongs in this group. Either way, the list of individuals who have been more courageous than Dave is a short one.

But if you ask Dave, he'll tell you that is what it takes to be great. You have to be courageous enough to take chances without worrying about what might happen if you fail. What will people think? What will people say? These are questions that only cowards ask themselves before doing something. Braver individuals don't hesitate, and they don't worry about appearances. Below, you can see Dave in yet another installment of this pose. He wouldn't be able to adopt a pose if he were a less courageous cat. Courage breeds greatness.

Patience

Patience is one of Dave's greatest virtues. This has been discussed in the past. You would be mistaken, however, to confuse patience with laziness or a lack of ambition. Sometimes, Dave can't think of any good way to nap, although these times are certainly rare. Even the best artists have off days, when they might try for hours but still be unable to think of anything creative. This might even go on for days! In Dave's case, you could call this 'napper's block.' On days like this, Dave spends much more time than usual looking out the window, as pictured below. Dave has pursuits other than napping, after all, and he is content to pursue those when he has napper's block. Hoping all the time, of course, that inspiration will strike, and he'll find a new and glorious way to nap. And when inspiration does strike? Dave is always ready for it.

Patience.

The Valley

This is another in a long line of Dave's outdoors-themed napping strategies, The Valley. It makes for a very small valley, but if you look at how the two pillows are oriented, they make a perfect valley for Dave to nap in. He looks like a giant cat the size of a mountain, but that isn't far from reality anyway. This isn't the kind of position that Dave can employ at any time he chooses, like RocketDave or The Conch. Rather, it is dependent on opportunity.  If he sees an opportunity, he will seize it, but it is unfortunately rare that Dave is presented with such an opportunity. The terrain has to be ready for him to adopt this pose, much like it must be for The Crevasse. He can't just force it any time he wants. That's where patience becomes a useful trait for an artist like Dave. All the great artists in history have had patience. Da Vinci, Picasso, Monet, McCartney, Schwarzennegger, Rodman, Dave. What do these artists all have in common? Patience.

The Conch, Volume IV

You might think this photo is a repeat, but it is not. Dave just really enjoys this pose. While he is always on the lookout for newer and better napping techniques, he also subscribes to the idea that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." He tries to strike a balance between staying in his comfort zone and taking chances on new ideas. That's why you might often see Dave doing the exact same thing several times. It's not that he is uncreative or lazy, he just wants to enjoy the fruits of his labor. All that work developing new techniques has to pay off some time. This is that time.

The Conch, Volume III

Over the years, Dave has developed several variations of The Conch technique. Sometimes he curls up without much assistance. Sometimes he uses surrounding objects to better position himself. Here, you can see one of his favorite Conch strategies: using the fold of the couch. This strategy allows Dave to fold his big-boned frame into a semi-circle. You might question Dave for striking this pose, thinking that it doesn't make a whole lot of sense that Dave would find this position comfortable, but he clearly does. Furthermore, you should not question Dave's genius. Clearly he is comfortable. 

CSI: Dave, Volume VI

As you might remember, Dave really gets stimulated when things are happening around him. Here you can see a picture of Dave when he recently had some unexpected visitors. Dave really enjoys unexpected visitors, which, as you might also remember, is most of the time that he has visitors. One thing Dave does when he has visitors is put his detective cap on. We're speaking figuratively here, because Dave doesn't have any caps, but he figuratively puts his detective cap on and investigates who the visitor is, why they have entered his home, and what, if any, danger they present. Being a good defender of the home requires constant vigilance if you ask Dave. That's why he investigates every visitor thoroughly. He even used to include an investigation of whether visitors had brought any food, but he has sadly learned that visitors rarely bring him food, so he doesn't investigate this any more. After all, he doesn't want to get his hopes up. 

Dave Taking It Easy

Dave is such a creative napper that sometimes you can't even describe his techniques. Take the example below. With a few small modifications, this could easily become a RocketDave, but it isn't really a RocketDave as currently situated. You would really have to force it to put this under the umbrella of RocketDave or something else like The Plateau. So this is just a Dave, getting ready for a good nap. No shame in that.

Dave likes bedtime.

RocketDave, Volume III

This RocketDave is on top of the couch. Dave likes to keep things interesting by employing the same napping strategies in a variety of locations throughout his abode. Sometimes, that makes his napping positions look a little different. In this case, it has made RocketDave look a little silly. He is on top of both a pillow and a blanket, which were well-placed on top of the couch for Dave to lie on. Dave likes to make the most of every opportunity, such as this one. It's not every day that he'll find a pillow and a blanket on top of the couch. If he had let this opportunity pass, he may have never had another chance to be the RocketDave you see here.

RocketDave! She packed my bags last night, pre-flight!

RocketDave, Volume II

This RocketDave is not quite ready for liftoff, because in this instance Dave took the form of a rocket while draped over a pile of blanket and pillow. This definitely still qualifies as a RocketDave though, although it could easily be mistaken for a TobogganDave. You might think Dave is getting a little sloppy when you look at this pose, but a keen Dave observer knows that Dave's goal is comfort. It might not look like the perfect RocketDave, but it sure does look comfortable.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time ‘til touch down brings me round again to find!

RocketDave

Dave's great girth causes Dave to find comfort in ways that other cats don't understand. Normal cat poses often don't work for Dave, and Dave's poses often don't work for other cats. One such Dave pose is RocketDave. This is a pose that Dave will employ anytime, anywhere. He just stretches his arms in front of his head as if he is preparing to launch like a rocket or a bobsled.

RocketDave! Burning out his fuse up here alone.

CSI: Dave, Volume V

Dave really gets stimulated whenever something is changing. Recently, his cat-tree was being disassembled and reassembled, for reasons unknown to Dave. Dave, always the investigator, ventured forth to see what he could ascertain about the situation. While Dave's investigative skills are superb, he never quite figured out what was going on. Within about 15-20 minutes, the cat-tree had been completely reassembled. The only difference Dave could detect was a slight tilt of the tree that hadn't existed before. 

Dave will be continuing his investigation until all the facts are clear.

Happy New Year, from Dave

Dave is starting off 2014 with a bang, the only way he knows how, with naps. He encourages you to join him. Naye! He demands that you join him in enjoying as many naps as possible today. Nothing beats a good nap on New Year's Day. Dave will also be making time to eat food, and look out the window pondering his existence, the passage of time, and the meaning of life.