Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Dave's favorite 20th century Russian historical figure, Continued

Dave could not wait to hear the rest of his friend's story from the other day. One of the pitfalls of being a cat is that you don't get to decide your own schedule. If the person who brings you your food is late, you will eat late. (Fortunately, this reality of cat-life does not apply to catnaps.) If the person gets up and leaves in the middle of a story, you have to wait to hear the rest, or you might not hear it at all. But gratefully, Dave did get to hear the rest of this story.

"I counted at least seven sources of traffic entering the intersection, and that does not include those exiting the parking lot of the restaurant inexplicably located on an island in the middle of the intersection. The existence of said restaurant perplexes this motorist. It certainly offers no benefit to the movement of people or vehicles in the area, nor any particular enjoyment for those frequenting the restaurant. Would you like eat in a restaurant in the middle of a road? Probably not! But the restaurant itself is not entirely to blame for the problem! It is rather a symptom of the same cause that also created the abominable intersection. Some fool approved this restaurant's location, as some fool (perhaps the same fool!) also approved the design of the entire intersection. In fact, were it not for the existence of this intersection, I would have simply walked to the store. But I know from experience that this intersection is, if possible, an even worse experience for pedestrians. 

Anyhow, upon approaching the intersection, a driver is given the option, though a somewhat theoretical and short-notice one, to enter the intersection from a variety of lanes. The choice of lane will determine the choices the driver will have moments (or minutes, or hours) later, when driving within the intersection. A mistake here can set a driver back potentially for days. Luckily, I made no mistake. 

I entered the intersection from the appropriate lane, positioned ideally to eventually exit the intersection towards the street along which the pet store is located. I traversed through three stoplights in the intersection (there were no less than 5 stoplights in total). But as I approached the place where I would exit the intersection, I noticed something ominous. Cars in front of me were slowing down unexpectedly. It turned out that the two-way road that would take me to the pet store had been temporarily converted to a one-way road. Yet there had been no signs to warn motorists of this fact! I had no choice but to abruptly turn to my right, because the only other option (turning left) was rejoining the intersection I I had finally freed myself from. Back into the gates of hell? Not I.

As I headed in a direction 90 degrees off-course from my desired route, I thought I would soon have the opportunity to correct the situation. I would simply turn left at the earliest convenience. Then I could turn left again and be very near my destination. This is something that non-ambiturners do all the time, and surely I could do it here. Or I could merely park my automobile somewhere nearby and walk the remaining distance! Both options proved challenging. No legal parking spots were available, though I don't complain about this, for it would have just made the traffic worse, exacerbating the situation. So I ventured forth off-course, searching for an opportunity to turn left. For over half a mile (almost as long as the entire trip should have been), I motored through intersections that were either one-way roads in the wrong direction, intersections that banned left turns, or freeway on-ramps. 

This frustrated me.

Eventually, I was able to turn left. A block later, I turned left again. And a half mile later, I found myself on the correct side of the intersection that had caused me so much delay. I finally reached the pet store. And there I purchased provisions for you that should last several months."

Dave, enraptured by the story, found himself pleased that the person had managed to finally arrive at the pet store. After all, Dave's very sustenance depended on it! But he wondered if there was more to the story. He thought there was. He communicated this thought with a look like this.

Dave is great at displaying inquisitive looks. 
But he would have to wait for another day to hear the meaning of this story.


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