Monday, September 22, 2014

Dave's favorite 20th century Russian historical figure

Dave recently heard a story from someone who spends a lot of time in Dave's home, someone who is not a cat and has the ability to roam freely beyond the confines of the home. Dave was happy that this person had left the home, for two reasons.
  1. While Dave enjoys the company of this person, and often naps on and makes biscuits on this person, Dave also likes to have some quiet time to himself. He did not have the luxury of quiet time back during his days on the mean streets of Iowa, so he savors his time to himself.
  2. Dave had not had a milkshake lately, and he really wanted one on this day. It was his hope that this person would bring him a milkshake.
Anyhow, when the person returned, this story was related to Dave. This story reminded Dave of his favorite 20th century Russian historical figure, but only at the conclusion of the story.

"Dave, I hope I have not waken you. You appear to be in a very comfortable position, one that would make a great napping position. However, I have quite a story to tell you. Even if I did disturb your slumber, you will appreciate it after you hear this story. 

As you know, I ventured out yonder today, much like you used to do in your younger days. I drove my automobile, with the local pet store as my destination. I call it the local pet store because it sits less than a mile from our home, something you wouldn't know, but can appreciate. But the short distance alone did not mean I arrived at this destination easily. In fact, quite the opposite was true. 

This beginning of the journey was unremarkable. Few obstacles slowed me down until I could almost see the pet store, but then, circumstances changed. 

After the considerable progress I had made, I merely needed to cross a large intersection to finally arrive at the pet store. But this was no ordinary intersection. I have jaywalked across the widest street on this globe, and I've seen large intersections in my day, some of the largest in the world , as I don't doubt you have. Even so, remarkably, this intersection certainly was far worse, far more obstructive, more of a hindrance, than any intersection I have ever laid my eyes upon. You would agree with me if you saw it with your own eyes. After the first nine tenths of a mile took mere minutes to traverse, the final tenth represented a painful slog that lasted what seemed like days, although to be truthful it was closer to half an hour. Unacceptable nonetheless! We live in a modern city, do we not, Dave?! Was there a regrettable accident, or some maintenance project to keep the road in a usable condition? In either case I might have understood the delay. But was there such a legitimate reason? No! The day was a standard one, the traffic not extraordinary for the hour."

And here Dave's companion paused for a time. Dave's intrigue in the story only grew. This is the face Dave made when he realized he would have to wait to hear the rest of the story.

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